speakers on if you please

I HATE YOU

Hate or hatred is an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity, or antipathy for a person, thing, or phenomenon; a desire to avoid, restrict, remove, or destroy its object

 

FRUSTRATION

THE F WORD

COURT COURT COURT

PAPERS PAPERS PAPERS

CONFERENCE CALLS

DEPOSITIONS

LAWYERS

JUDGES

MORE LAWYERS

MONEY GOING INTO HER POCKET

THE WITCH

LAZY

BAD MOTHER

BAD WIFE

BAD SISTER

BAD DAUGHTER

REWARD

$
$
$
$

YET WE HAVE NO $$$$$

 

HOW IS THIS FAIR?

WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

WHY DO WE HAVE TO ADDRESS EVERY SINGLE LIE SHE SAYS IN COURT & DRAG THIS OUT?

WHY DO WE HAVE TO PAY AN ATTORNEY FOR EVERY WORD SHE SAYS, EVERY LIE, EVERY FAX, EVERY EMAIL, EVERY LETTER, EVERY STAMP, EVERY PHONE CALL?

HE WANTS TO JUMP OUT OF THE WINDOW AND TAKE HER WITH HIM.

 

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP

DRINK

SMOKE

EAT

AND GO BACK TO SLEEP

 

 

HOW MUCH MORE CAN WE TAKE ???

 

I don't understand the judicial system.

Two years of CH & ex-wife in court battling alimony.

Today was supposed to be resolution.

again

 

Every friggin week it is $450.

Every two weeks $900

Every month $1,800

Every year $23,400

Automatically taken out of his pay

Not child support

ALIMONY !

For her to get more high, more drunk and more fat

 

She parties every night

She eats out every night

She goes on vacation

She gets her nails done

She gets her hair done

She buys clothes

She buys shoes

She buys jewelry

She flaunts

 

 

$450 a week that could go to our children, to buy food, to buy clothes, to actually get out of this fucking tiny condo I am stuck in day in and day out and live life; actually enjoy ourselves like normal people do.

She has inherited 3 million dollars.

She claims to only have 250 K left.

Why is this our problem?

Why do we have to prove this when it is in black and white, so cut and dry?

Why is time going by and she is hiding more and more money?

Why does CH have to work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet?

Why do I have to get up at 6 am every day to work part time just to be able to contribute and still stay at home with my baby?

 

Why don't her own children speak to her?

Why does her own sister live in the streets & mental facilities or CH mother's home?

Why is her own brother an alcoholic & homeless?

 

Because she is a lying, selfish bitch.

 

Why, oh why God did he stay with her for 18 years?

What the hell was he thinking?

Why did he think it was best to stay until the kids were grown?

Why do I have to suffer because of her laziness and lies?

Why?

 

Okay, I feel a little better....I am going to try not to cry.

We have another court date July 6....

Can I please nap until then?

Just a long slumber.

 

I'm tired,

I'm tired of being a good person,

an honest person

when all I get is slapped in the face financially

 

God knows I am not materialistic

I just want what is ours

I just want fair

 

life is so not fucking fair

wake up

 

 

I HATE YOU BECAUSE:

I hate that you lie, you lie and hurt this family

I hate that you take your hatred out on CH mother, who is a saint and loved you as her own when your mother died

I hate that you try to break the bond between your daughter and CH mother, the only one who stood by your daughter unconditionally when she was on angel dust, stealing, lying and over dosing

I hate that I have to decipher every fucking word and story that comes out of your mouth, it's confusing to me since I am honest

I hate that I had to cash in my 401K to pay bills

I hate that CH had to give you half of his 401K, money he earned

I hate that I had to cash in bonds that were meant for my children's college education to pay bills

I hate you because we had to file bankruptcy & I am embarrassed

I hate you because you postpone court & change lawyers to pee this out because you know we don't have the money to fight

I hate you because this is the fourth judge in two years and we will probably will have a different one again, who is not familiar with this case

I hate that NJ court system allows this to happen

I hate that your brother and sister have nothing

I hate I couldn't buy my daughter an ice cream cone the other day and actually counted pennies & still came up short

I hate that you claim you can't work because you have no skills at 45 years old.  Who's fault is that? Your father was a millionaire...why didn't you go to college?  I couldn't finish because my parents did not have the money.   In the time I have had my son I have passed my real estate license and two cdl licences just to be able to work part time and still take care of my family.   You have done nothing to better yourself as a human being or a tax paying citizen...all you do is take.  You took from your father and now you are taking from my family.

I hate that you lied to your own children and told them you had breast cancer just to get attention because they didn't want anything to do with you

I hate that I cannot take my children on vacation while you fly off to the Bahamas and Atlantic City any time you want and gamble our money away

I hate that you went on a cruise to Hawaii last year for Christmas & didn't see your grandson

I hate that my husband has high blood pressure and has to take medication and monitor his pressure every day and I have to hear that machine beeping....it scares me

I hate being afraid he will drop dead of a stroke or heart attack because of you

I hate that I am depressed and aggravated

I hate that you throw in my face that you are entitled to CH SS benefits when he dies

I hate that you set up your daughter who you have taught to lie and steal....just so you can press charges against her and try to send her to jail when she has a one year old baby & is clean and sober now, she is trying

I hate that Sweet Annie my best friend who never harmed a hair on anyone's head died and you, the scum of the earth, walk it every day and do damage.  I hate that more than anything.  You are breathing everyday and I cry everyday for my friend.

I hate that you chose not to work, not go to school, not to get your high school GED and not to drive

I hate that you have damaged your daughter and have left us to pick up the pieces.  She will never be okay.  She doesn't know how to be honest or to love.

I hate that you put your son in the middle of this and he is so sick of the drama he moved away

I hate you because you are a stupid girl in a woman's body & illiterate, uneducated and just dumb.  I hate your emails that are just one long stupid, incoherent sentence with no punctuation or capital letters you stupid bitch....

I hate that you did drugs with your daughter when she came out of rehab...smoked pot and sent her out to buy Xanax from drug dealers

I hate that she found coke in your home and caught you in bed from some stray you brought home from the bar one night

I hate that you took her to bars and drank with her when she was trying to recover & under age

I hate that you got her a job in a bar when she was struggling with recovery

I hate that you want her to turn out just like you

I hate when she was raped you went to the hospital and called her a slut, caused a scene and was thrown out by security

I hate that you have taught my husband not to trust

I hate that we are stressed over money EVERY SINGLE DAY

I hate that we had to borrow money from my mother and CH mother to pay over 10K in attorney fees, it's humiliating

I hate that you give all women a bad name, we are not all gold diggers and vengeful.  Some of us are actually intelligent, some of us actually work and some of us actually love.  You are disgraceful.

I hate that you have all the money in the world to keep this going just like the divorce & we had to settle then and will probably have to settle now

I hate that you go around telling people CH raped me and that is how my precious son was conceived....you are sick

I hate that you are so bitter that you let a good man go and now he loves me and you feel the need to try to destroy us, even after 5 years

I hate that I can't tell you face to face how I feel because anything I have ever said to you, you have twisted and told your kids lies and hurt them

I hate you because you were a stay at home mother and couldn't even get up in the morning to see your daughter off to school and she is a drop out just like you, uneducated and will suffer because of your laziness

I hate that you flaunt your money while your daughter is unwed with a baby, an alcholic drug addict boyfriend and on welfare and food stamps & you don't give her a dime, a hug or even a phone call

I hate that you hurt your daughter by never seeing your only grandchild, she is a good mother unlike you...

I hate you because I feel sorry for you and I don't understand why

I hate you because I am smart enough to recognize you have a mental disorder ... while others think you are pure evil

I hate that every single day I wait for your karma to come and get you but it's taking longer than I would like

I hate myself for buying that cheap bottle of champagne this morning thinking I could celebrate with CH tonight

I hate you because it is 12:15 in the afternoon and all I can think about is getting drunk but I can't because I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES

 

I HATE YOU BECAUSE I HATE !

 

I have never hated anyone in my life...I've never had a reason to.

 

I HATE YOU JANICE

 

 

I hate myself for even thinking these thoughts

I hate that I did cry today and couldn't be strong for CH who feels like he can't support his family because of you

I hate that I am feeling sorry for myself today when there are so many other people who have it much harder than I

I hate that I have thoughts of hatred in my mind and keep adding on to today's post

I hate that I can't even repeat all of the disgusting lies you have told for fear that someone may actually believe them

I did beleive them at first, because I asked myself who could make up such nonsense?  Who is so evil? Who has a mind that works that way?

But I learned very quickly....only you Janice.

 

You are a text book pathological liar, you can't help it.

You have been caught time and time again by your own contradictions.  I have saved every email and every im you ever sent us in this family.  You are so transparent.

But in court none of this matters....it all comes down to $$$

Your mind is sick like a Stephen King novel.

You are, dear Janice, a legend in your own mind

 

And I do laugh at you....

All of that money and you are still an ignorant, unhappy bitch

 

And I am sad for you.....

Your own children hate you

 

I know I will wind up deleting this....just had to get it out

I am certainly not looking for sympathy...so many of you have your own stuff you are dealing with.

I just need to vent.

I did a Jonnie thing (thanks)

I just typed all of the crap in my head at record speed

and I have added on through out the day

 

It's better than crying or drinking or murdering someone

(that was a joke)

 

This is her AOL profile:

I have not changed a thing, this is how she speaks and writes....so ignorant.

Name	stocks go up ^ and stocks go down "it's called market  fluctuations" Duh! Buy some penny stocks and learn... (maybe you'll make a few extra bucks too )^^^^^^^^^^finance , right up there ^^^^^see?
Marital Status	'Taken' (Bliss).......... This will be one of the longesttttttttttt engagements on record.  E&J 'My Man in Blue' "honesty integrity and loyalty til the END"!The Strongest Bravest Men&Women in the World "N.Y.P.D." (the Emerald society!!! )F.D.N.Y . TOO!!
Hobbies & Interests	Spring thru Fall... Hangin' out on' his' Boat or in the cabin .    yay summer!  what makes people so ENVIOUS of people who have a few bucks and can afford to travel!?! and also have their freedom back?!? it's bizarre................maybe, because their lives are incomplete and unfulfilled!?' 'Happy people' don't bother other people.ONLY misery loves COMPANY.  B.t.w. when those two thieves"the check bandits"whom, by the way begged me NOT to have them arrested" are carted off to the federal pen or call Trenton and find out for yourself how they did it!( 18 months Mandatory, I was told )You shall eat your hat!!  (I'll even buy one for ya  )  lie detector tests for all of you (I'll splurge) and yes, your baldness bothers Your 3rd wifey  , she told me so in one of her drunken fits of anger at 2 in the afternoon (ick) Do you still  have to peel her off the keyboard drunk with beer cans everywhere!?that poor poor child.  sad, very sad.   I felt so bad for you I didn't tell you( half) the stuff she told me about you) yes, I'll pay for her test also!!    SNIP  SNIP  you still aren't trusted to spawn anymore even though SHE was "fixed" also....how sad for you two..(trust issues)............I hope that you come to find the happiness, clarity, honesty,unselfishness and fulfillment that decentand honest people are entitled to. unless of course God doesn't believe you are entitled to it.( and you reap what you have sowed.) This drawn out "Jerry Springer" episode that has been going on for 6 years is now (OVER.)   I live a normal life and will not be pulled into yours anymore.   psstt,, ALL Mothers nip at thier babies thighs, tummys ,bodies and tush , there is nothing "sick" about it. nor did I ever say there was.. lies again.. disgusting too!  keep those lies coming(some things never change) or better yet, repent and beg for forgiveness ... what comes around goes around, many times. admit to all your lies and maybe life will get better for all of you (loons. )see how fast 6 yrs have come and gone?! ... 9 will be gone b/4 you know it :)...Don't be a bitter old man ....it's bad for your health, soul, and ages ya.  oh, a few  more to add to the list: a diamond ring(2k)   a computer for school(3k)and books for college(1k)):another big waste:she didn't even finish( one) semester , just like you! you certainly can't deny She's "yours."(she lies and steals and drugs IT UP) just like you!(hopefully you've changed 'some' of your old ways!)  I remember when you stole the 'tent' from K-mart......you should have got caught ! it might have taught you a good lesson. you're ALL lucky you live in this wonderful Country because you ALL would be fingerless for thieving. oh, and your oldest Son would be also!  like you said to me once"is your grass truly greener now?" my answer:( is ,and was ,and will always be) YES!!  I simpy Adore being free from the binds that tied me!! (I can wear what I want knowing my clothes will not be cut up into pieces) I can have friends again and come and go anywhere I want without being the caged person I once was.(and w/out being followed) do you still put butcher knives to your throat and threaten suicide?! I always felt sorry for you when you did that stuff. (even during our divorce when you said you missed your home and family so much and threatened to drive the car thru the garage(police came of course) and I let you have "Rosie" because' you said she was all you had left'.I knew you weren't too tightly wrapped though, and the meds helped you for awhile.(not very long though, sadly.)L.S.D. is a dangerous drug , sadly you abused that way too many times also. when you called me in the winter of 2004 to tell me you were on new meds (that helped with your impulsive and insecure behavior) I was happy for you, but never did understand why you would tell me!!(it's none of my business what meds you are on and what they help you with ) you even shocked Gioia (she was listening on the other line)  I would have sent Roses to JacK  everyday had she not been so 'EVIL and IMMATURE'. TY TY TY Jack :)She should have thanked me and My Father because if it weren't for my Dad you would have never lived in Jersey(you'd still be in Sunset) or the park. You  would never have met! ) Eric thanks you too ! :) 186 hits since I posted this profile!! ugly on the inside makes one even uglier on the outside! whoa.
	God = "Good Orderly Direction"    "Everything will be fine in the end. If it's not fine, it's not the end." 'E & Me'..... :)  "This one race of people for whom Psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever" 'Freud' . Caveat actor....  Latin proverb.   That was just a little example of her intelligence or lack of....nothing makes sense, all of it is a lie and it is constant harassment.  This is an adult, a 45 year old woman.  It seems like high school shit to me.  If I wasn't personally involved I would think it was a teenager. No she does not know about my blog....if she did, I wouldn't be here.   And mostly I wouldn't write what I did today and allow her the pleasure of knowing how much she is affecting me.... I simply ignore her.  But today I couldn't let it fester, I had to let it out somewhere.....or I was going to burst.   Thank you blogstream!