CAN'T AGREE TO DISAGREE ANY LONGER
It's a defense mechanism...
Many years ago when I was a young mother and living in my condo with my ex-husband, I came to the realization that people are not what they seem.
I remember sitting at the condo pool with my two young daughters as I did everyday with other mothers & observed.
The condos were just built at the time and many new young families, such as mine, moved in.
As time went by, many of us women became fast friends. Our husbands played golf together, fished and smoke cigars. Our children played together on a daily basis & celebrated birthdays.
We celebrated holidays together, went out dancing at night with our husbands & ate at each other's homes quite frequently. Some of us even vacationed together.
As time went on, I began to notice something.
All of these women talked about each other.
If there were a group of four and one left the remaining women would talk negatively about the woman who just left. It didn't matter who it was or how friendly they were to her five minutes ago.
After a few years of this, it dawned on me. If they are doing this to other women, any woman who was not present, what would make me think I was immune to such nastiness and jealousy?
So, I reacted, I did something.
I removed myself from the situation. I walked to my mailbox one day and a bunch of them were gathered outside. They all said hello and I did not respond.
I liked these women, I liked all of them and I assumed they all liked me. But that day, I ignored them.
It was a statement, it was a defense mechanism.
That silence lasted for about 10 years.
It was a rough ten years because of course I became the subject of their gossip.
Especially when I divorced my husband....the rumors flew and it was very hurtful.
But I remained silent.
I didn't want to be part of it any longer.
I have lived in the same condo now for almost 20 years. Neighbors have moved away and new ones came in.
Now, I know better than to get too attached. There are a few from the earlier years who I am cordial with...I say hello. And there are some I still do not speak to.
Call me a slow learner but I have weeded out the bad ones after 20 years.
For those of you whom I have blocked from responding to my posts, this is the same situation.
It's not that I don't like you...as a matter of fact I probably do.
I will probably miss you as well.
It's a defense mechanism...
But because I feel very hurt by things that have been said and directed towards me & my friends here in the past few months, it is very hard for me to decipher who is genuine and who is not.
Call it a character flaw...I am a Capricorn. It's all or nothing with me, it's black or it is white.
I consider myself a nice person.
An honest person.
So, with that I expect the same from other people.
As the saying goes:
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me.
At this point, I can't afford to be shamed a second time.
I am confused and I am hurt.
I am exhausted.
Guilt by association may not be fair, but it is my defense mechanism at this time.
That is me.
Please do not think for a moment that this is a conspiracy for others to follow suite.
I have not discussed this with anyone.
We all have our own free will and can form our own opinions.
Most people take their time to trust others. I am not like that at all. I trust everyone until I am aware of a reason not to. Sometimes it takes several times.
This drives CH (who is a REAL person by the way) crazy. I open my heart, wallet and door to anyone who is in need 100%.
I have to admit, I was quite surprised by the bloggers who have attacked me. Yes, surprised. Maybe you knew how these people really felt about me, but it came to me out of the blue.
These were people I trusted & liked.
I have the pm's to prove it, but that is not my style.
So, a brick wall fell on my head.
There are four bloggers who I am talking about.
Yesterday I went to their blogs and made a list of bloggers who are friendly with them, even after these people have shown their true colors. Not just to me, but to EVERYONE here.
I cannot be so forgiving or understanding to the hatred.
Like I said, you are blocked not because I don't like you, it's because I am trying to protect myself.
There is no other way I know how to do it.
It's a defense mechanism.
If I have blocked you from commenting on my blog unfairly....please let me know.
I have to admit, I went a little "BLOCK CRAZY"...for that I am sorry.
There is nothing more I would like than to have you back in my blog life. I am willing to discuss it like adults.
Some of you won't care and that's okay too...
Unfortunately some of my blogger friends have been put in the middle and have become buffers for me..thank you for that.
If you have something nasty to say to or about me...please keep it to yourself.
Don't bother me and I won't bother you....
I came to Blogstream after my best friend died because once again in my life I had cut people off.
People who may not have deserved it.
I cut out all of my friends and even my own family for awhile.
Again a defense mechanism.
I saw the human race in a whole new light.
Not everyone is like me & I was silly to assume so.
I saw how people, friends and family treated Annie when she was sick.
Annie, who was the nicest person on the face of the earth.
She was dying of lung cancer and it got too uncomfortable for people to deal with so they pulled away from her.
All the cards, flowers and phone calls stopped.
I saw how this hurt her. After a year of suffering she died in my arms, thinking I was one of her only friends. How unfair.
I hated everyone after that.
I became a hermit.
Then I found blogstream.
I was happy.
I am not so happy here anymore.
I am seeing the same hatred and nastiness all over again.
It's a defense mechanism.
You can call this child like, you can call this simple minded or you can call it naive.
The bottom line is that I would NEVER hurt anyone intentionally.
It's just a defense mechanism......
"When people show you who they are, believe them."
Maya Angelou
The lesbians come out at night, and they are here on AllTalkRadio.net. Join Schree & Baby as they talk about pop culture, from their own unique and over-the-top perspective. You never know what will be said or done on this nightly block of hot talk. 
