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Lucy.


 Saturday - Overheard in the Stream
 


Overheard in the Stream Saturday

THIS WEEK'S STAFF OF SLEUTHS

LOOSELIPS, THAT GIRL, BLOOD CANNON & GOGGLES
 
HEAD DICK - SHERLOCK'S SISTER
 
Myspace Codes & Myspace Code
 

This was Donuts response to my 15 yr old daughter and I getting a hold of a whoopie cushion in Walmart and farted all over the store causing mayhem. 

The only reason we stopped after an hour was because I was laughing so hard I almost peed in my pants.....

I am such a good mother....what a wonderful role model! lol


Hahaha..

Pretty soon Lucy they are gonna bar you from Walmart!!      

 It might even be written in the papers:

Headline:

"Farting Family Is Told Wal-Mart Does Not Want Their Business"

The story would be:

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief the "Farting Family" has been apprehended and permanently banned from Wal-Mart.   A woman named Lucy and her daughter were finally caught yesterday after a two month investigation.  They had been farting near customers. 

 They had hatched a scheme where one would hold a

FART BAG :

Flatulant Anal Releasing Telemarketer Bootie Air Gasser

One would keep the shopper engaged in conversation, while the other, often Lucy, would release a torrents of poots, farts, squeaks, creaky floor, and stepped on duck calls, creating embarassment and much pointing of fingers.

Many customers would immediately go to the medicine aisle and buy numerous boxes of Gas-X and Bean-O.

It was later learned that Lucy had stock in these products and was making a killing in the stock market.

When they were caught, red handed, farting near some octogenerian.  Lucy tried saying that she did not know what they were talking about, but after a pat down and many fart sounds were heard, the undercover cops found the FART BAG hidden under her armpit.  She was wearing a bulky winter jacket where she had ingeniously sewn a hidden pocket where she hid her FART BAG to use for her dastardly deeds.

Trial is pending.

DONUTS

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Reaction of NW to Overheard last week:
 


(((sound of hysterical laughter in the background)))


(((Sound of slightly less hysterical laughter interspersed with pleading voice)))

"No, No, please..." "...just look at the computer..." "...
 
Not the white jacket, heee hee hee, isn't necessary...
PLEASE, ha ha, just look..." "...
 
No, I'm not hysterical...
OOOHHHH ha ha ha.
 
Please...just look at the stupid F&*^^^&g computer... !!
No! You CAN"T take me away from my computer!!!"

(((Sounds of car doors slamming and very quiet hysterical laughter)))

(((sounds of silence, then footsteps)))

"Hmmm, I suppose I should turn off her computer.
Oh, what's this?"

(((Sounds of hysterical laughter)))
 
NW MATTERS
 
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That's it!  I'm off to feed the homeless and look for stray cats!

RANDY
 
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Randy should be advised that what comes from eating pussy is barfing hairballs, that ought to shut him up.
 
I was doing the Friday Five questions from Belle that day and the cat came up to me. 
 
I asked her same as I always do what's new and she barfed up a hairball.
 
After I finished cleaning it up, I then went to finish the quiz and there was Belle's question.....
"What's the answer to What's New Pussycat?"
 
So, there's the answer to the Pussycat question.

SHERRY
 
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Mr. Ornery in response to being busted on OVERHEARD last week:
 
Oh dear, Lucy, NOT AGAIN!!
 
And my "Secretary for Getting Things Done" is attending to other matters so I can't even find our standard "Implausible Deniability forms".
 
Misty!  Fuzzy!  Have you seen that form?
The one saying we deny saying what we said?
 
MR. ORNERY
 
 
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Tell Pretty Rubble she is confused about the pu$$y....wasn't mine...I was eating grapes the whole time....
 
BELLE
 
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*struts like a chicken*
Bock bock bock bock bock

Chickens!  The lot of you!

RANDY
 
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Explosive Diarrhea???

 
What about "FLAMING PROJECTILE DANCING-MONKEY DIARRHEA"???

JENNY

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Mom doesn't take complaint calls about me anymore.
It was taking up way too much of her time.

RANDY

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...you had me at explosive diarhhea !!

PRETTY RUBBLE

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Ya know, ya can't get ANY good South American animal styled sex toys anymore!

Like.....
The tree sloth (for those who take their sweet time)
The Anaconda Giant Snake (no comment)
The Pirana Fish (for those who like a little bite)
The Llama (ummm.......)

RANDY

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So what's your problem with us guys who never bathe and wear dresses?
I'm offended!
That's it!
I'm calling my Mommy!

RANDY

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Awww.

I - admittingly - may be a plotting world conqueror, but that doesn't mean we can't have cuteness.

SEVEN IS DARKER

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I think corporate America needs a group like this to pull undies out of peoples' cracks!

CHANDABEAR

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Green eggs and ham(ster).

NIGHT BUG

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It's not politically incorrect if you offend everyone, that is how it works right?

ZAPPA FAN

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It's the little things.
How are you?
And why do you keep calling me a nut?

ZAPPA FAN

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Now, as far as the Mistyisms-to-Ornery dictionary.....
 
I am WORKIN' on it, man! Give me a break.
The woman is HARD to figure out! What do you want from me?
We are NOT talking normal "womanese" here.
 
This woman has innuendos, biting sarcasm, and under the radar stuff that eludes even the mighty POH!
 
Gee whiz, Ornster, I never DREAMED she would be this tricky to translate.  Encrypted, embedded, encoded......
 
I canNOT figure this out overnight...........if EVER!

PRISONER OF HOPE
 
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I have some rubber ducks here at the office, if you want to stick them in the bin and liven the place up.
They don't have any heads, of course... I work with psychos. 
 
KRISTIN
 
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Yea, I had the same problem so I took a whiz on my hard drive and....
Well, damn.
What a mess.

Let's just say there were lots of sparks, hurt feelings, and I still can't upload jack.
 
RANDY
 
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Where I live there is a hillbilly cafe. 
 
ZAPPA FAN
 
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Show off !
 
LUCY
 
Myspace Codes & Myspace Code
 
Beware, the armed kitties!  
 
NIGHT BUG
 
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 I am far too grumpy to be dancing that early in the morning. 
 
 HAILS
 
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I should have brought the cross and the garlic...but you know I did not forget the booze!
Girl has to keep her sanity some how! 
 
ASH'S MOM
 
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Me busted no way.....I only get busted when I am in the bedroom.
 
LOVER2 in response to being busted on OVERHEARD last week.

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Crazy head? You know what's good for that, I hear?
Aluminum foil bonnets.
I think that I have one around here somewhere... with my crotchless panty eye-patches....
 
KRISTIN
 
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Go drunk.. as Cooter Brown.. wild.
 
BELLE
 
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Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did do.

Mark Twain via

RITA B

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The seat belt is not a weapon!

You are NOT a freaking Ninja. 

ASH'S MOM

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Life turns on a dime.

The dime becomes a magic carpet....

Enjoy the ride. 

COLO

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Love is to water the garden of your life. 

LOVER2

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Maybe I should just go sit outside and hope this wind storm we are having will blow me away like Dorothy. 

I am certain the munchkins would cheer me up.

Nothing a little Lollipop Gang couldn’t cure. 

ASH'S MOM

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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

Rita Rudner via

MADIE

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My refrigerator is just like me – it needs a “make over” – and yesterday it got one.  

LOOKING FOR LUCY

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Yesterday, because it called for rain, I put a big old trash bag over the box to try and keep the water out.

Wow….

It really did a lot for the ambiance of the whole trailer park look……

MACKENZIE

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We, as a family came to the conclusion that we can NOT function as a one crapper household in times like these, and therefor passed a motion - 4 votes to 0 - that we must find a way to achieve a residence with at least a two crapper minimum.

God forbid someone be tackled again durring a foot race to the loo. 

AUD  IN OZ

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This is a quote taken from the book -  "Life as a Daymaker" by David Wagner:


"We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough, and think we will be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.  We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nice car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire....

The truth is, there is no better time to be happy, than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

Now you might think this was written by an adult - but this was part of a speech given by a student at a highschool graduation program.

What a perspective of life at eighteen!

PRAY WITH HOPE

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When we remember that we were too frightened to pull those giblets and guts out of the turkey’s butt before we cook it, we are thankful that we are able to order Chinese food on a holiday. 

The majority of us would prefer to keep our Wild Turkey in our personal liquor cabinets. 

BOB HOLT

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A good things that have happened this week:

I didn't get one visit from the Jehovah's Witness.

ALZ NURSE

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Wherever you go, there you ARE!

KK TAYLOR CC
 
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Funny how Highway 41 leads to Area 51 in certain seasons.
Perhaps I'll wander down that road again when I'm braver.
 
COLO
 
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We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor; you are able to come to work.
 
CHANDABEAR
 
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Socks!
I don't know what it is, but I can't get in bed with socks on.
I'm "Sockophobic".

BIGGIE T
 
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Mind you, the "Sanity Deposit" is strictly voluntary.
However, those insisting upon taking their sanity through with them will be asked to sign a waiver absolving Mister Ornery and others of any responsibility for damage done to impressionable minds and/or psyches. 
 
MR. ORNERY
 
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I really do not know what happens to a woman after 40.
I am not under the belief that she is no longer a Sex Goddess. Experience tells me that the lady after 40 is the epitome of SEX !!
 
BLUMOON
 
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If it's a dream, you're never to old to follow it..

SECRET

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I discovered a new game while recuperating;
I call it the "Navel Lint Picking Extravaganza" or better still,
"What the Hell is This?"

It helped pass some time while I had to stay bed-bound for a few days.

I am thinking about bringing out a home version for anyone who wants some good clean fun.

I am talking with Howie Mandel and Jeff Foxworthy about sponsorship.

GRANDMA BABA

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You too can be a spy for OVERHEARD IN THE STREAM SATURDAY !

Simply private message me with a funny quote, who said it and your secret spy name and it will be posted next Saturday.....

Myspace Codes & Myspace Code

 


 
Posted by Lucy. at 11:05 PM - 62 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Saturday - Fall To Pieces
 

It's been a long year

Since you've been gone

I've been alone here

I've grown old

I fall to pieces,

I'm falling

Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

 Every time I'm falling down

All alone I fall to pieces

 I keep a journal of memories

 I'm feeling lonely,

I can't breathe

I fall to pieces,

 I'm falling

Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

All the years I've tried

With more to go

Will the memories die

I'm waiting

 Will I find you

Can I find you

 We're falling down

 I'm falling

 
 
Posted by Lucy. at 5:12 AM - 36 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Friday - OJ Book & Interview
 

Does this make everyone sick?

 

Publisher says she considers new O.J. Simpson book 'his confession'

Already a pariah and pop-culture punch line, O.J. Simpson plans a book and TV interview to discuss how, hypothetically, he could have killed his ex-wife and her friend — a story his publisher considers "his confession.''

NEW YORK — O.J. Simpson created an uproar Wednesday with plans for a TV interview and book titled "If I Did It" — an account the publisher pronounced "his confession" and media executives condemned as revolting and exploitive.

Fox, which plans to air an interview with Simpson Nov. 27 and 29, said Simpson describes how he would have committed the 1994 slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman, "if he were the one responsible."

Denise Brown, sister of Simpson's slain ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, lashed out at publisher Judith Regan of ReganBooks for "promoting the wrongdoing of criminals" and commercializing abuse. The book goes on sale Nov. 30.

She added: "It's unfortunate that Simpson has decided to awaken a nightmare that we have painfully endured and worked so hard to move beyond."

Regan refused to say what Simpson is being paid for the book but said he came to her with the idea.

"This is an historic case, and I consider this his confession," Regan told The Associated Press.

Simpson was acquitted in 1995 of murder after a trial that became an instant cultural flashpoint and a source of racial tension. The former football star was later found liable for the deaths in a wrongful-death suit filed by the Goldman family. In the years since, he has been mocked relentlessly by late-night comedians, particularly for his vow to hunt down the real killers.

Simpson has failed to pay the $33.5 million judgment against him in the civil case. His NFL pension and his Florida home cannot legally be seized. He and the families of the victims have wrangled over the money in court for years.

The victim' families could go after the proceeds from the book's sales to pay off the judgment. But one legal analyst said there are ways to get around that requirement — like having proceeds not go directly to Simpson.

"Clever lawyering can get you a long way," said Laurie Levenson, a Loyola University law school professor and former federal prosecutor who has followed the case closely.

Levenson noted that the criminal justice system's protection against double jeopardy means Simpson's book, explosive as it may be, should not expose him to any new legal danger. She added that Simpson could create an extra layer of insulation from any legal worries by presenting the story hypothetically.

"He can write pretty much whatever he wants," Levenson said. "Unless he's confessing to killing somebody else, he can probably do this with impunity."

Simpson did not return numerous calls for comment. Simpson's own attorney Yale Galanter said he did not know about the book or the interview until this week.

"The book was not done through our office," Galanter said. "I did not have anything to do with the negotiations of the book. This was strictly done between O.J. and others."

He said there is "only one chapter that deals with their deaths and that chapter, in my understanding, has a disclaimer that it's complete fiction."

On Amazon.com on Wednesday, the 240-page book was being offered for $16.47. An image of the cover featured Simpson's face and the title "If I Did It," with "If" highlighted in white and the other letters in red.

Other publishers and publishing industry observers practically fell over each other to criticize ReganBooks, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, and Simpson.

Otto Penzler, who runs Otto Penzler Books, a crime imprint of Harcourt, said he would have a moral problem with "carrying a book like that and enriching this lowlife in any way."

"If I were betting, I would say the book won't sell," he said. "I think people are so disgusted with this guy that they're having the same feeling I do."

ReganBooks has gained a reputation for publishing some less-than-highbrow material, including Jose Canseco's "Juiced," billed as a tell-all on steroids in baseball, and books about the slaying of Laci Peterson.

Patricia Schroeder, president and chief executive of the American Association of Publishers, described the developments as sickening.

"But I think it's going to stir an awful lot of debate and make the culture take a real look at itself, and that may not be unhealthy," she said.

Indeed, one thing that seemed certain was that the book and interview — which Fox will air at the end of the crucial sweeps month — were bound to generate a torrent of publicity.

Shari Anne Brill, a television analyst for the Madison Avenue firm Carat USA, predicted public interest would rival that of the 2003 interview with Michael Jackson, seen by 27 million people in 2003.

At least one other network, NBC, said it had been approached to air the special but declined the offer.

"This is not a project appropriate for our network," said Rebecca Marks, a spokeswoman for the entertainment division of NBC, a network that once employed Simpson as a football analyst.

CBS said it was unaware of any pitch for the project. ABC did not immediately return a call for comment.

Hoorah for you Lucy!! This guy is scum!!! DON'T buy his book!! DON'T watch the interview. Send an e-mail to the following address and tell those FOX executives that they are WRONG to show this scum as if he has any right to be considered entertainment!! askfox@foxinc.com Thanks for your post!!
Posted by Lucy. at 6:42 AM - 80 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Wed - Answers to the Smart Ass Quiz # 3
 

ANSWERS TO THE BLOGGERS SMART ASS QUIZ # 3

 

1 - Which Blogger started out with the name "Pissed Off Old Fart"?
Truth Seeker
 
 
2 - Which Blogger went to Art Carney's viewing at a funeral home by mistake?
Coloconnect
 
 
3 - Which Blogger has seen the Grateful Dead in concert over 200 times?
Sharecher
 
 
4 - Who has been with "Lovey" for 23 years now?
Polar Bear
 
 
5 - Who loves kissing the "Yankee"?
Belle
 
 
6 - Who doesn't have curtains on their windows but instead tye dyed tapestries?
Moonsilver
 
 
7 - Which Blogger has a beautiful dog named "Gibson" who recently had a mushroom scare?
Jonny
 
 
8 - Who is on their way home from a camping trip?
Mama Bear
 
 
9 - Who doens't care for ice cream?
Baygirl
 
 
10 - Did you vote last week?
 
CORRECT ANSWER SHOULD BE:
YES!!
 
 
If you have questions that you would like me to include in next week's quiz, simply PM them to me with the correct answer.
 
Thanks!

I CAN ONLY GET TO LEVEL 9 (still)

TELL ME HOW YOU DO



Posted by Lucy. at 4:38 PM - 22 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Tuesday - Smart Ass Quiz #3
 

ARE YOU A SMART ASS?

CLICK HERE...

Let me know how you do!

 

If you have questions for next week's "Smart Ass Quix # 4", please send them to me via private message...remember these questions are to be blogger related...thank you!

Posted by Lucy. at 6:45 PM - 42 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: Lucy.
From Northeast, USA
 
This blog is about...
Can't think of anything clever at the moment.
 
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