We were cracking jokes the other day in the car on the way to The Store.
I love those movements....
Secret had the flu much much worse than me.
So, I have tried to be helpful and supportive to her....
Even to the point of getting dragged out of a warm bed to go to Walmart at 4 AM this morning.
I had to help her fight "gladiator style" with wild eyed rednecks..
Most of them reeking of untreated morning breath and wild greasy hair..
Or....still just silly drunk from the night before.
All over the sale items that went up for grabs at 5 AM sharp.
Interesting....
My idea of extreme sports is going to the local video store without wearing a bra, or peeing with the toilet door open, or having sex without brushing my teeth in the morning.
I mean, I channel the power of Satan through my toaster - to give my waffles a tasty goodness of The Damned.
I know, I know!!!
I saw that freaky Burger King zipping around on a little motorcycle!
Also, I saw a magazine ad of the King wrapped up under a Christmas tree.
He's been quiet for way too long, but looks like he's
(yikes)
baccccccccccccck!
RITA B
Hope your thanksgiving was drama free!!!
Mine was....YAY!
And my future mother in law is doing much better....
Always a good sign when she can drive everybody nuts.
(apparently as per usual! )
PRETTY RUBBLE
And as I said on your blog, the question should have of been
"who doesn't like a cold beer on a hot Texas day?"
... instead of
"who does"
lol
ICE
Could we set up a trailer out back that the short bus could pull-up to and let us get the "special" help we need?
(real air quotations " " included at no extra charge to Streamers of Record)
MARC
What in the name of Robert E. Lee are Yodels?
BELLE
A LITTLE SHOUT OUT TO COLO, DAISY, POH, LUCY AND GRANDMA BABA, MAMA & POLAR...I HAVE NEGLECTED YOU !
love you...xxxx
Belle, Yodels are yummy lil' creme filled chocolate cake rolls made by Drake's cakes.
You can munch em - wolf em - even snort em...lol...
BIG CHRIS
It's too early to be thinking about my ass.....
I got 5 out of 10 correct.
I guess that just puts me in the crack of things.
I'm not a smart ass or a dumb ass.
That would make me just an ass.
I guess I got the butt end of this one.
Sorry Lucy, I think I'm all out of butt jokes for now, maybe I will fart some out later.
BUSMANTERRY
Who is dumber than a box of rocks?
Answer: Dreww
DREWW
"That mutha was so big, it l ripped my a**hole out.
Ain't never seen the likes of it before."'
SHERRY
TOMMY & MARC'S PLACE
THE DOG HOUSE
HELIOTROPE
"I am so excited because I got to see the hunky, non bloated Elvis."
BIGGIE - T
"No..we weren't sitting down to dinner at all...
Of course I'd like to buy a subscription to your stinking magazine."
BIG SHANE
"Mildred! This new nail polish is great!
It matches my lipstick and my cookies, and I even painted my phone with it!"
PUPPY
"My kids know how to mix the perfect martini.....ahhh..the 50's."
BIGGIE - T
"No, No, Officer. I haven't eaten one.
This is just a test of the connection......
Yes, I have placed them as near the hotline as possible......
Thanks, you're a dear, buh-bye."
MARC
"Too much benzedrine? Impossible!"
ZOOMER
"This is a beautiful documention of early phone sex."
BIGGIE - T
"Ohh my God! I know she's such a total skank.
No, we are going to have dinner soon.
She didn't! I know, she's slept with like every man in town. She does? That's why they like her.
No I won't! He begs me, but I ain't going there."
ADAM WARLOCK
"Another late night at the office? Pure 50's era balderdash!"
BIGGIE - T
...."would you like a cookie?"
CHANDA
"You said that I have just won a free trip to Vegas? Wow! Tell me more about it. "
WHIT
"Oh darling.. I just love it when you talk dirty to me!
Hurry home and I have a littel nookie waiting for you.... or was that cookie? Hmmmm....yes dear..hurry home!"
POLAR BEAR
"I am in the kitchen, where I've been all day.
Just what do you mean you won't be home for dinner..
Hmmm...Dear?"
SHERRY
"Madge, this damn phone has been hovering over my right shoulder for days.
It won't let me near the cookies.
It's about to see what "stir until well blended" actually means."
MARC
"Pregnant again? Thank you Doctor.
George will be so pleased, as will the six boys!"
BLUMOON
"It's 2006 and I am too prozac-ed up to wonder why I still have a rotary phone."
ZAPPA FAN
"random phone calls telling kiddies...Santa is dead...."
LUCY
"Lucy...no you di-int!
You, baby, are warped!
No freakin wonder you and Marc get along!"
T
"Where's Lorna when ya need her? "
BIGGIE - T
"Those dialated pupils, the fixed smile, and the telephone floating ominously in mid air...
has life as a homemaker really changed that much since 1957?"
BIGGIE - T
"Laura, dear - if God wanted men to think with their brains, he wouldn't have given them a penis."
ZAPPA FAN
"Another case of Eisenhower Era
haulinegenic.. haulicinagenic...hallucinagenic...
You know what I mean...
drug experiments?
Too funny."
BIGGIE - T
"One ringy dingy... twoooooooooo ringy dingy..."
SHARMAN
"That's right Gladys.
He doesn't suspect a thing.
For all he knows the milk man was only delivering milk and NOTHING more."
BELLE
"aaah it's good to be Catholic in the 1950's"
BIGGIE - T
"Marge, daahling !!
We are going to have to check out that new store ...
Heliotrope for the Holidays ...
I hear they are having a big holiday blowout!!"
BELLA
"Another martini, dear?
...Uncle Milty is on"
BIGGIE - T
"Hello, George W, Dahling!
I was born with a silver spoon in my hand, and I'm jus' callin' ya on the Red Phone, to wish ya, a mMerry little Christmas & a Happy New Year!!"
ADAM I AM
"Yes Doris... and then I told him ... PRISON FOOD AIN'T that BAD!"
SHARMAN
..."Yes dear, you ARE bringing sexy back, now don't forget to pick up the dry cleaning."
PRETTY RUBBLE
"I'll not be eatin that last bisquit..."
BIGGIE - T
"Hello, is this the Holiday Homicide Hotline?
I think my Zoloft has stopped working - -
I just beat my husband to death with a gravy spoon."
VALKYRIE
"Why yes Martha!
One teaspoon of cynide should do just fine.
I made a batch today myself for Harry."
POLAR BEAR
"Yes, just slide your finger in there and he'll love you for it when he finishes!"
PRANK
"Oh June!
You know I'd just looooove to, but don't you think that 3 Tupperware parties in one week would be pushing it just a tad?
We musn't draw any unwanted attention dear!
If the men of 'Happyville' ever figured out what was REALLY going on at our plastic-parties, well .."
PJ
" I know about those plastic parties you girlz have!
I think that was the year that the Deluxe "I Like Ike" Model came out. "
T
" DANG
I didn't get my prescription for Mother's Little Helpers today! "
LUCY
"I think I'm having an acid flashback too !
My evil telephone is just floating in mid-air. "
BIGGIE - T
"Ya know Marge, on those days when I don't feel....um...Fresh...
I hear baking soda can kill the smell of anything!"
SCRATCH
"And you say that the Vagisil will cure my itch?"
POLAR BEAR
I still can't say "yeast" with a straight face.
BRUTHA T
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISTY !!
CLICK HERE to wish her a happy day !!
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