Lucy. by Lucy.

OVERHEARD IN THE STREAM SATURDAY

I looked up info today, Belle.

You can teach sea monkeys tricks !

No kidding.

They respond to light.

They say to turn out the light and use a flashlight -

they follow it around.

Hmmmm...that should make for a fun Friday evening.

CHANDABEAR

9:35 Shhh...Mary's singing "Be Without You" now.

God, she is so hot...

Like that....

"ghetto diva...dangerous, sweet, always in control, stylish, I'll do your taxes, accessorize ya, slap the fool out of you, and then whip up the best meal you ever ate in your life"

Kind of hot....

BIGGIE T

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop.

I covered the top of the meat in the MRE Cheese (kinda like Velveeta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans.

(hey, if it's got green sprinkly thingys on it, it looks fancy right?)

AT EASE MAJOR PAIN

I've got a 'doing time' disposition, I've been told.

Patience. Serenity. Near unconsciousness.

Mrs. Squabbler (#2) used to say I had two speeds: slow and slower.

I would remind her, unconscious is a viable third.

JOHN THE SQUABBLER

Elsewhere... Nashville Mayor, Bill Purcell vetoed a bill that would have made English the official language of the city, saying that it would have discouraged President Bush from visiting.

BOB HOLT

The man was too sexy for his cat.

This is about where I get lost.

How the hell exactly do you determine you are too sexy for your cat?

If you have, in some fashion, figured out that you are too sexy for your cat, the SPCA should take your cat away.

WILD PIG UK

Yes, Cupid the angel who has brought love and happiness to the hearts of millions was shot dead,

ironically enough with a bow and arrow.

There is no information as to how this tragic event happened, but local, federal and mythical police have not ruled out foul play.

ZAPPA FAN

Cupid Farts

Y'all have FUN !!

Don't Drink and Drive !

DO drink and Blog.. makes for some funny shit in the morning !

SIX

I'm sorry I'm running so late........

Have you ever chased a llama that has gotten loose when it's nothing but ice and snow out ???

CELTIC MIST

Ohhhhh, alright Lucy...

I just hope the chicken has been sterilized from the man that was wearing it...

You KNOW I dont do dick !

No way ! No how !

POLAR BEAR

You better hide them rubber chickens from reading the comments.

I see that there is a chicken choker amongst us.

BELLE

Awwww, Lucy just flip me upside down give me a couple whacks on my ass and I'll be just fine.

PS- This bear's heading towards the den....

It's 2:00am and I'm starting to see double..

Either that or it's those rubber chicken shots !!!

POLAR BEAR

Well, I'm a straight shooter, a square G, a regular joe, a silly girl, and a darned old-fashioned kinda fella.

(Now, if you were Bella I could make a rhyme there.)

And we're groovy alright.

JOHN THE SQUABBLER

Damn girl, I'd be screaming Oh GAWD !! For sure !

Reminds me of that old joke... how do you hold your liquor ?

By the ears !!!!!

POLAR BEAR

You bet ! Enjoy and give everyone my best !

You all are like family, loved and strange, but wouldn't have it any other way !

WHISPERED PROMISES

Valentine's Day

A day of happiness, love, solidarity and goodwill toward your significant other.

For those of us that are single, it is yet another aggressive heart-shaped reminder that sex has yet again eluded our grasp.

Living with a roommate that is currently ensconced in a lovey-dovey relationship, I felt compelled to remind him that

"One day, you will rejoin our ranks !".

Unfortunately, he reminded me that

"Yes, but unlike you, I'll still get some."

NIGHTBUG

Oddly enough, I had put my make up on ONE eye only and my girlfriend who is the executive director - who should conduct herself with dignity - laughed so hard she bent over double.

To top it off, she would not sober when I explained I was going to be coy and wink all day. .......

WHISPERED PROMISES

Martindale

Great job by everyone on the interview.

This just validated everything I ever believed about Whisper.

She is just a kind and top of the line individual.

It's not her fault she was raised a clogger.

BOB HOLT

Well, Miss Valkyrie, do you Humans appreciate the fact that we are sitting here watching you all as you touch yourselves and what not?

Could you at least shoo us out of the room?

Prank walks around with his Mr. Happy! and well....
You don't wanna know...

Remember your pets before you engage in your orgasm.

Please. Close the door.....

WOOGIE THE CAT

Most Revered Woogie ~
HELLO !

Dude, you LICK yourself !

Is that somehow superior to touching oneself ????

Well, OK - - it is.

But you felines take tongue baths right in front of ANYONE,

friend or stranger !

Don't you go preaching to me !

VALKYRIE

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,

it was probably worth it....

MISS LOU

I came by to dance and you went to the titty bar !!

Guess I will high tail it over there....

First one in the door gets Lucy's tassle !!!!

POLAR BEAR

Someone better check on my titty bar bud, Polar Bear.

Last time I saw her she had a handful of tassels.

AT EASE MAJOR PAIN

What shall we call Randy in a dress....?

How 'bout a "Randvestite"?

SECRET

Hey, I have a pix of you in a dress Randy if you recall !

LUCY

Randy in a dress...

Courtesy of Randy's Mom

Dude looks like a lady !

I was totally prepared for my trip back into 'Brady Land'.

Good thing too as the strep throat cooties have made their annual appearance.

I am currently thinking of dipping everything and everyone in a little bit of Lysol or Cootie Repellent.

ASH'S MOM

It's not usually so deep here....

We are usually discussing diarrhea banjos or something !

RANDY

I was going to use a

"beaver on a unicycle smoking crack" icon....

but thought better of it.

RANDY

I know, I feel like we've twisted up what started off as a profound, spirit-filled post and we took it down our primrose path of cabbages, kings, sealing wax...

I am the Walrus Koo-Koo-Koo-Choo and beavers on unicycles and lions and tigers and bears, OH MY !

PRETTY RUBBLE

Maybe we should get a hold of a hot line....

Hello ?

YES ....

Is this the 'Grown Man Who Wears A Bonnet' hotline ?

YES - HOW CAN WE HELP YOU ?

Mmmm, I am a walrus bonnet wearing man, covered in pie waiting for the results of smokin crack beavers.

OK, NO PROBLEM - HERE IS THE PHONE NUMBER FOR BILL CLINTON...UMM, WE HAVE COUNCELED HIM IN THE PAST.

Click

RANDY

CALL ME

Geez, Randy.

This is what happens when I diet and all I have had is three olives and diet pepsi ?

JUNEBUG

I refrained from devouring the 85 million boxes of Girl Scout cookies that DB sold.

It was a temptation that was at times a wee bit overwhelming.

Thank GAWD her and R went and delivered most of them today.

My will power was growing very weak.

ASH'S MOM

NOW FOR BELLE'S QUESTIONS:

First time you looked at yourself in the mirror today,

what were your thoughts?

Hey, is that a banana in your pocket?

What did the last text message you received on your

cell phone say?

"I'm taking out a restraining order"

It was from Mario Lopez.

What is your current desk top photo?

A picture of Mario Lopez taken from the bushes outside his house.

What song makes you cry?

Disco Duck

BIGGIE T

Has anyone ever burped in your mouth?

(I only ask because of a TRUE story, told to me by a friend)

Nope, but they've done other things that shall remain nameless !

POLAR BEAR

An expression that you use a lot?

The one where I stand with my hands on my hips,

stick my tongue out and wave my butt around.

KRISTIN

First time you looked at yourself in the mirror today,

what were your thoughts?

Let's get ready to rummmble !!

PRANK

I wonder what the Mothers and Fathers that decreed 'violence in cartoons had to go', were smoking ?

SHERRY

I actually hated Ding Dong School.

RUBY13

Mr. Cartoon reminded the audience member that if they answered incorrectly, they would get "twenty lashes across the naked eyeball with a wet noodle"

BELLA

I also watched Sheriff John.

Then Sheriff John introduced us to drinking games.

LULUBLUE

My great grandfather was a hangin judge and my family was part of the Taylor/Sutton fued.

Between Texas Rangers and Judges - we were some fightin people.

I know my Mamo, as I have said many a time, would rather shoot you than argue with you.

LOOKIN'

I drink bile and spout lilac blossoms !

BIG CHRIS

KEEP SMILING.

It makes people wonder what you are up to !

TAYLOR

Monty is giving a lecture on the mating habits of DeBunkem this weekend, and we are all very excited....

US2WEEDS

Sometimes, when a heart is shattered and then put back together with the glue of experience, it is stronger than it was before.

WHIT

I'm POOPULAR ???

DAISY

Letter U?

Underwear ?

Never ! Commando Baby !

BLUMOON

I am glad you are wearing undies, now finish your brussel sprouts please.

WHISPERED PROMISES

Um.... I thought Anam Cara sang that "What a Feeling!"

song from "Flashdance".

RANDY

I would imagine somehow that acrobatic techniques must be involved !

What is the world coming to ???

CELTIC MIST

AND DAMN IT, DOOLITTLE DONE DID IT, INDUBITABLY!

PRETTY RUBBLE

As I said before . . .

Get it on !! Bang a gong !! Get it on !!!

ADAM WARLOCK

Rubble's Easter Bunny told me to vote for Doolittle....or was that Doolottle...maybe I'll just go back to bed....that's my story...and I'm sticking to it...

PETRA

After forty years of film making ups and downs, Martin Scorsese has finally has his long awaited Oscar.

The famous director accepted his Best Director award with suppressed anger, that later turned into a full blown ‘Raging Bull’ if you will, when he clocked former Vice President Al Gore with the coveted statue.

ZAPPA FAN