As a Catholic it is a 'mandatory' sacrament.
Otherwise you may not get married, you will have pagan babies and you are doomed to a hot, humid hell for all of eternity....
(see prior post of my brain washing as a child)
By the time our children reach 16 years of age, most of us parents have given up on the hope of their child fulfilling this sacrament,
but I never did. I have to admit, it was a bit of a battle but well worth it for my own salvation.
It was a lot of driving.
A lot of driving with myself in the passenger seat and my daughter behind the wheel with a learner's permit and me not saying 'GD it'
and 'Cheese and Rice' when she swerved into on coming traffic.
And no smoking... I did not smoke, like I did with the first one.
I AM going to heaven.
I'm on the highway to heaven, damn it.
The yellow brick road to the pearly gates.
However, my initial plan of gentle persuasion of pushing her into a convent didn't quite work out as I planned.
I had her convinced her calling to be a nun.
After all we do have a Mother Superior who drank vodka and smoked cigatettes in my family...that's not so bad.
But around third grade she decided this was not her path.
And there went my dreams of an automatic pass to heaven.
But she did study and become an altar server.
I must admit here and right now if 'she' was a 'he" I never would have allowed it.
(see previous post of the kid f'ers)
As a requirement, our children have to go on an Antioch
weekend retreat.
Parents are asked to write a letter to their child
for them to read privately.
(I hope)
Talk about captive audience !
This is my letter...not completely Catholic in many beliefs and respects,
but it is many things I want to say everyday, but sometimes don't...
to my younger daughter about life.
A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER
Dear *****:
First of all I am so very proud of you.
I know this hasn't been easy,
The giving of your time for preparation for Confirmation.
I know for the past several years, you would have preferred to do something else with your time as most teenagers would.
But you stayed committed and reached a goal.
Be proud of yourself.
I also know you are doing this for me and I thank you for that gift.
With that, I want you to know what
your Confirmation means to me
personally as your mother.
1 - Confirmation means that you are actually renewing your Baptism.
Your Baptism that your father and I chose,
in the very same church you will be making your Confirmation in.
The very church your father and I held you,
with so much love and promise and ever so tightly..as a baby, 16 years ago.
Now instead of being held, you will be standing on your own, strong in front of the bishop.
Always remember, we will both be there to catch you when you stumble.
And you will stumble *****, we all do.
We all make mistakes but when you learn from them, it just doesn't count.
But always be responsible and accountable for your actions.
This is the very same church ***** made her confirmation in.
This is where you and ***** and **** were baptized in.
This is where your father and I were married in, on the very same altar.
This is the church where we have all recieved Holy Communion
many, many times.
The very same church I made my own Confirmation in
many, many years ago by a different bishop.
2 - Confirmation means accepting the Holy Spirit into your heart.
To me, very simply;
The Holy Spirit means love.
Love means grace.
Grace means peace.
Peace is a gift you give yourself.
Don't resist it..
In this fast paced world we live in we tend to forget to be still...just be still.
Silent
This is where I get all esoteric on you.
Open your heart, open your mind, open your soul to these gifts.
You cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water.
Accept this love that comes from God and from all of the Saints.
(especially St. Patrick)
Accept this grace that comes from the universe.
Accept this peace that comes from nature and every living thing in it,
Including yourself.
The sky, the moon, the stars and planets above our heads...
The grass, the ocean and soil beneath our feet...
The animals and plants and insects we must co-exist with..
And always respect and protect as a mother would.
I have told you many times, you have been on this journey before.
You are my 'old soul child'.
Just because you have been here before doesn't make the journey any easier.
Yes, in some ways it does. There are lessons you have already learned.
We 'get' things quicker than others, you and I.
We don't care as much about earthly material things.
It is harder in another sense because you are more aware,
You are more intuitive and you are more sensitive.
This is another gift even if at times it doesn't seem that way.
We feel others pain.
I truly believe God only gives you what you can handle *****.
He is a loving God, he is your father.
She is a loving God, she is your mother.
They are a loving God, they are your friend.
They will never let you down.
Just try to be still once in a while and try to listen and try to accept.
Look for that still water to look at your reflection in.
Work on meditaion...it may take years, but so fulfilling.
I have never been good at articulating my faith in God.
It is a very personal relationship to me that words cannot begin to describe.
I always find it in nature, in it's beauty, in it's syncronicity, in it's simpleness and mostly in that motherly instinct that is apparent in God's animal mothers.
I feel it when the sun hits my face and kisses it ever so gently.
I feel it when I smell fresh herbs in a garden that take me back to my childhood.
I feel it when I see sunflowers bowing in the sunny garden on a bad day and it brings a smile to my face. You yourself have witnessed that in me.
I feel it when I float in the ocean all by myself and hear nothing but my own heart beating in my ears beneath the surfice of the tide and with the flow of the waves that carry me to wherever they want to.
I feel it everytime I hear my children laugh.
I know you feel it too.
3 - Confirmation means you are giving a gift to your own children someday.
A gift of a respect and homage to our heritage and faith and
Proud to be Irish Catholic.
This also means to thank God.
We live in a country in which we are allowed to practice our faith,
No matter what that may be.
We all take this for granted.
Appreciate it and remind others of it as well.
I marrieed Angel who came from a communist country where your every thought was controled...he had no Christmas as a boy.
It was taken away.
We have an freedom in this country.
Take full advantage of it.
You may not wish to be a practicing Catholic after making your Confirmation.
That is okay, neither am I.
I made that clear to both you and your sister that I will carry you to this point
and then afterwards it is your choice what path to take.
I just wanted to give you and your children a gift of heritage and ceremony.
A moral basis.
The gift of candles, incense, art, and protocol.
Just a reference point to always look back upon.
This will be the beginning of many choices you will have to make as an adult.
Take your time, there is no rush.
I am 42 and still learning.
The only wish I have for you is to believe in something....
There is something bigger than us, we are so small in the scheme of things.
Don't be so self absorbed to think WE ARE IT...
Remember this when you are upset...for this too shall pass.
And also remember the good times & the belly laughs,
Because they too are fleeting.
Hold on to them and cherish them.
Take tons of pictures.
Smile every chance you can.
Travel, try new foods, go to temples, Ashrams, Europe and the ghettos.
Read, read, read, read, write, write, write, write.
Learn a new language, challenge yourself, touch someone who needs it.
Experience it all....feel the dirt in your hands....listen to the music and the suffering and the joy.
Listen to the stories, because whether you realize it or not, it is the same story for all women.
Remember to open your heart to others beliefs.
This is what I do and what I love to do right now.
I learn every day about other religions and that is what makes me understand the universe a little bit better..
It makes my heart bigger.
4 - Confirmation means I have passed a gift onto you.
Remember, all the generations that came before you and I
That have that have been Confirmed...
All of us in this Irish Catholic lineage share a bond.
Generations and generations of women stood in churches
with their daughters with the same pride I share with you.
We have all felt confused and befuttled.
Remember, we as women have all cried the same tears
and smiled the same smile.
We have all fought the same battles as teenage girls and as women do.
We have all struggled and walked that same difficult mile.
And we have all become stronger from it, generation by generation.
It's a "man's world" *****.
It will be a battle everyday.
You will wake up with this as a strike against you each and every day,
You can embrace it or do something about it.
The only weapon you have is your education...and of course your heart.
You are smart and I know you will expand your mind as well as your soul.
You have a brilliant mind.
Take care of your body too because it is beautiful.
Don't do drugs.
Don't drink and drive.
Keep that balance.
And share that knowledge with your own daughters.
5 - Confirmation means I also want to thank you for choosing my name to be Confirmed with.
That makes me smile....
Just as it made my mother smile the day I was Baptized with it 42 years ago with my cousin Billy who I love.
Your grandmother picked a strong name for me to live up to..
Jacqueline was a president's wife who held her head up high
even in her darkest moments.
She had dignity, she had grace.
She adored her children.
Be proud of the name.
My Confirmation name is Margaret, after my maternal grandmother.
I lost my Grandma right before my Confirmation.
Did you know there is a Saint Margaret of Antioch?
All I remember of my Confirmation day was being sad
and wishing she was there.
When you see Grandma on your Confirmation day, give her an extra hug.
It will be our secret why.
Or perhaps you can whisper in her ear, as my Grandma Margaret did to me so many times....
"whether we are near or far apart, whisper my name to the Sacred Heart."
She also told me to bless myself when I see lightning or pass a church.
And my Irish grandmother taught me two very important things:
How to make a screwdriver and scrambled eggs for breakfast.
I love and miss her every day.
She had the best sense of humor, she was a bit 'off' like you and I.
She never took life too seriously.
How could you with 9 children?
She loved me and I knew it.
Be proud of Grandma's name - Arlene - as your middle name as well,
She too is a strong woman. She is my mom and my best friend.
She is a beauty inside and out. There is no one like her.
Be proud of your fitst name *****, what a beautiful name it is,
Meaning new beginnings - that your father chose for you.
Be proud of your last name ****** your father has given to you from his father.
They are both good men.
And so is your Grandma T.
6 - The last thing I want to say to you is to forever be kind to your family.
Remember your aunts, your uncles and your cousins.
Always stay in touch with them. It takes only a small effort.
You see I do it, I love my cousins.
Your grandparents and your stepfather all love you for you ****.
You have so many people in your corner that you can count on.
They all adore you.
Respect your father. He loves you so much.
It is hard for a man to express his love.
His love is to provide for you and to hold your hand.
It scares him that you are a young woman going into the world, he wants to protect you.
You are forever his little girl.
Listen to your older sister ******. She loves you so much.
She worries about you and looks after you.
Her love is to provide safety to you and be protective because she is where you are right now, just a very short time ago.
You are forever her little sister.
Be an example to your little brother. He loves you so much.
He looks up to you and is too an old soul. The two of you are very similar.
His love is that you are another mother to him.
You are his Sissy *****.
The only thing I ever expected from you and your sister
and now your brother is to be kind to everyone.
Don't ever make fun of people for any reason.
Show everyone respect, you just never know their 'story'.
Look out for the underdog and protect those who are weaker.
Give back to your community and volunteer your time.
Help other women and children who are not as fortunate as you are.
And realize that you are indeed that....fortunate and appreciate it.
Remember that none of the words above alone define you.
You are so much more than a sister, a daughter, a niece, a grandaughter.
You are *****...unique and special and a gift to all of us.
You are an empty pallette, an empty page that you and you alone can paint, and write and sing and dance onto.
Use ever color of the rainbow.
And don't paint in between the lines...venture out.
Okay, now tis is from me...
Just know you can tell me anything *****.
I love you unconditionally.
There is absolutely nothing you can do to make me love you less.
I adore you ***** and I believe you are my soul mate.
Know that I need a hug sometimes more than you do, so don't pull back.
You know what I mean...when you cry and I go to hug you and you pull away.
Just think maybe I had a bad day too and I just want to hold you ****
You are my love, you are my heart,
You are my little girl who has always made me laugh.
I felt bonded the moment I looked at you.
My little red-head Irish potato..
You also made Annie laugh too...
She got such a kick out of you when you were little.
She loved to just sit and watch you and called it "***** Land"
She would call me on the phone and ask, so what did ***** say today ?
And...."That is so funny....I hope you are writing this down !"
I wish I listened to her.
Now, *****, you are my best friend *****...I love you.
I just adore you and can't imagine you going away to school one day.
The last thing I have to say to you is never let a man abuse or mistreat you.
You are a strong, smart, pretty young lady.
Always act like such. A lady that is. Have dignity and don't swear.
Demand respect, you are worth so much to me and those that love you.
You are precious, don't let anyone ever make you feel less.
Okay, now to make you laugh...remember when ?
The angels came down and kissed you above your lips and left freckles there?
You had "Plans" at 3:00 am ?
We were almost kicked out of Shop-Rite because of your alter ego "Coat" ?
You love your parents "Because they buy you Lucky Charms ?"
You were sent home from Catholic School in Kindergarten with an official warning from a nasty nun for fooling around in the bathroom and I displayed that note proudly on the fridge for years ?
I love you *****- Love- Potata...
(like a fat boy loves cake)
Mommy
X0X0
"WONDER" - Natalie Merchant
This is a song that reminds me of you from the very first time I heard it.
I remember when I was going crazy planning your communion party,
you remember the one with the bagpipes
and I heard it for the first time in the car.
It was you....my old soul child she sang of:
doctors have come
from distant cities
just to see me
stand over my bed
disbelieving what they're seeing
newspapers ask
intimate questions
want confessions
they reach into my head
to steal the glory
of my story
they say I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as they see they can offer
no explanation
people see me
I'm a challenge
to your balance
I'm over your heads
how I confound you
and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders
of God's own creation
and as far as you see you can offer me
no explanation
I believe
fate smiled and destiny
laughed as she came to my cradle
"know this child will be able"
laughed as she came to my mother
"know this child will not suffer"
laughed as my body she lifted
"know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience
and with faith
she'll make her way"
EAT, PRAY, LOVE
I am currently reading this book and loving each and every word of it.
Today I was thinking of something to write to you in this letter and
then I came upon a page that I will quote below.
It describes much better than I ever can, how I feel about you, my old-soul child.
Scaringly smart
Frighteningly astute
Sensitive and complex
Moments after the child's birth she looked around
with adult, worldly and worried eyes
Looking as though she had done this before so many times
and wasn't quite sure how excited she was to be doing it again.
This is a child who hears and sees and feels everything immensely.
A child who can become so overwhelmed with emotions
so fast that it unravels us all.
Sometimes she cannot sleep because she cannot still her mind.
I tried to reassure her that this world is hard and unfair at times.
But it is okay, because this child is loved.
PS - To leave you with a smile...
Remember, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, especially with a base tan.
*and*
If you don't agree to a Shamrock tattoo, I will disown you. lol
