speakers on !
What you say, shall and will be held against your for our enjoyment in:
"OVERHEARD IN THE STREAM SATURDAY!"
THIS WEEK'S SPY STAFF
SHERLOCK'S SISTA - HEAD DICK
LOOSELIPS
WILDCHERRY
LL LISTS
DUSTBUNNY
SHEILA TELALL
ROUGH RIDER
YELLOW SNOW PATROL
THAT GIRL
IMA TATTLETALE
(All the names below are also clickable links to their blog pages)
Whether it's the duck's cleavage or my writing, it's nice to be loved!
COLO
Oh, and DONT send me your address Kristin!
I've had the pickeled penis of Rasputin in a jar in the trunk of my car that I have been wanting to mail to someone and I think you might have a true appreciation for something like that so don't let me track you down!
Besides, I was kind of wanting to send it to Lucy.
RANDY420
He was born an asshole, he just grew bigger.
SCRATCH
But we are not but ecoli in the spiritual petrie dish.
ADAM WARLOCK
Dear Women of the world:
I think I have said this once before, but guys are not really jerks,. We just only want two things:
1. Sex
2. A sandwich
It's does not have to be in that order. If you can work it out, that on occasion it happens at the same time, we would be very grateful.
Until this happens we will be leaving the toilet seat up, and expelling flatulence in public.
Yours truly,
Men
ZAPPA FAN
Women Rule and Men Drool.... yes yes yes :)
SIX
But they are cute and cuddly and it is nice to have them around.
{I just described a dog didn't I ?)
Oh, you know what I mean.
MADIE
Of course, we all know it is easier to go downstream than it is to stop or go upstream.
WHIT
There are two kinds of people:
Those who read Whit's blog and those who are damned to eternal ignorance.
SQUASH
I'm too sexy for my blog, too sexy for my post, too sexy for this comment.
WHISPERED PROMISES
Only I have the power to give someone a new husband here on Blogstream.
LUCY
Now I know more about kissing than I ever have before! Thanks Grandma Baba.
GRANDPA JOHN
Imagine me with my pink hair with my Harley friends...
I have to keep up my streeet cred.
Rub his pink head and keep clicking the green guy....
Friday Night Blog Poker Chat
Just call me Ruthless Toothless...
Been here an hour and all I got was gas.
When I think about you I touch myself...makes me go mmmm.
ROSIE
Her short tight skirt with slits up the hips telling the world "I left my panties in someone's car".
A swing of her hips that says "I am for sale" just in case you missed all the other signs.
And a big ole bag of Doritos that she frequently pulls chips from and snacks away on.
Is that my little "guilt demon" or is that something else???
SOLID GROUND
Interesting, our species.
Somewhere in another time, another place...a different ending.
SOLID GROUND
Opinions are like assholes...everyone has one. Apparently my family has more than one.
ASH'S MOM
I must have been born smart, because I can get to 21 without pulling down my pants.
Now I am going to tell you a secret and please don't tell anyone, its just between us...ok?
I have 11 toes.
Say, where's Kristin?
I bet she's picked up and moved to Bolivia to start her film career !
(midget porn)
RANDY420
Oh, and as far as Belle "discovering" me?
She gets a 50% cut of all my wonderful Blogstream profits !!
Which means so far she has collected...
One genuine inscribed "I went to Dollywood, and all I got was this lousy buttplug" buttplug.
AND!
One genuine fine necklace made from gerbil nipples !!
So, I would say she's made out like a bandit !
RANDY420
I was kinda gettin' worried that "they" had come and picked you up and you were gonna just cave under intensive and forceful interogation (like being given an ice cream cone to give me up or something) and then "they" would be at my door.
So... I have been staring out the danged blinds all day like some paranoid looney, wearing a kilt and my can opener hat for defense and now I just find you've been out goofing off again!!
Well, another false alarm!
Anyhoos....
Kristin, you are blessed with a big heart and a brilliant comic mind and I thank you for the honor of helping to spill some of your comic genius out like kitty litter across the icy sidewalk of the world so folks don't bust their asses so much.
The glimpses into how others conduct their lives, what makes them tick, how they achieve their happiness and contentment, the reasons for their anxiety and the way it influences others...it is why I love my job at times, it is why I write, it is what I think about, it is what I need. It is what influences my life.
SEEING PEOPLE
I put soap in my own mouth, you know I am pissed when I start swearing.
LUCY
I thought all good Irish Catholic girls knew how to cuss Lucy.
COLO
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round !!!!
MISS LOU
I really think Homeland Security should spend more time securing our borders than keeping tourists from taking their shampoo along on vacation.
DAISY
...a tease? Me? Moi? Noooooo..
SCRATCH
Honey, did you auction the kids off on eBay?
ASH'S MOM
I have a sore leg, because my daughter Ashley has written a new scene into the Sketch Show Square Street where she makes me break dance.
Well, to be honest she just drags me around the stage by the ankle.
I am so sore....
JANEY GODLEY
I swear on my great great great grandfather Icabod Schnuzzlegasm's good name, that I'll NEVER make a diarrhea mackerel joke again. EVER AGAIN! It aint so funny to me any more. Really.
RANDY420
Life is too short to hold grudges, besides, I need a liberal to debate with in my life and you are it.
WHISPERED PROMISES
Instead of just hovering aimlessly above the bananas on the counter, the fruit flies could be taught to join forces to pick up a banana, skin it, split it in half length-wise, place it in a dish, plunk several scoops of ice cream on it, heat up some fudge sauce on the stove, pour the sauce over the concoction and top it with real whipped cream!
See? Mankind would benefit!
VALKYRIE
My kitty had a monkey once. Long story, a bit scarey too.
Sylvia Plath held a lottery so it's all over with now.
WHISPERED PROMISES
I often feel like yelling "Get your hands off me, you damn dirty ape!"
Then I realize I'm alone and such outbursts may be a contributing factor. ...
THE VESSEL
We proceed to IM each other from mere inches away.
(pathetic people should not be allowed laptops…)
MONSTERBOX
See, that's what happens when you compliment someone who has the Y chromosome - - they have to go all junior-high-boy on you and start flinging the insults, when what they really want to do is weep a quiet tear and be held.
It's OK, Vessel - - we won't think less of you for being a girl.
VALKYRIE
Absolutely. I could commit a specific murder without any remorse or guilt whatsoever. In fact it’s not fear of reprisal, but lack of opportunity which has kept me from the deed thus far.
QUIXOTE
Well, what do you know? Advice like this usually cost me $100.00 an hour!
KKTAYLORCC
I reckon after 27 years of marriage, I should be allowed a day off to go have sex with my man of choice. Why can this NOT happen? Surely marriage should work on a points system …like air-miles or a loyalty card? I get to be faithful and kind for so many years then I am allowed to fuck a stranger of my choice, or even like a supermarket system where I get two for the price of one?
JANEY GODLEY
It is always best to close your eyes when the demons are wiped away! May tomorrow bring you smiles and laughter and no regrets That is how I wish to live my awakening! I wish this for you also.
CHEY HIS QUEEN
There was no one in the Blogstream Chatroom at that point so that wasn’t an option, I mean I could have gone in but if you wander around in those places all by yourself, people begin to at some point, question your sanity.
SCRATCH
Curiousity really killed the cat. Thank God I'm not a cat.
HETZIE
'Why were you under my bed?' I asked.
'Half under,' he corrected, explaining, 'because the CIA beat me to the closet.'
Brandishing the bat, I yanked open the closet door and found a dapper, slender man wedged in there alongside my meager wardrobe.
'What are you doing in my closet?' I said.
'Cringing,' he replied.
'When was the last time you bought a suit? 1980?'
MR. ORNERY
I'm glad I was dropped on my head as a baby. It's always a nice to have an excuse to fall back on.
CHANDA
Haha.. that's right, Chanda! But I was just dropped last week!
KRISTIN
Just please don't tell me the new name sounds like a bug spray (even though it does), or some secret government project, because I've already changed the towels and ordered new checks and stationary.
T-CON
My mentor died on July 11, along with her husband.
In the coroner's report, it said wild animals got them, but in reality, they were werewolves.
ARTEMIS
It's too much letting ^Belle^ undress me.
Never know which will come off first.
Well, maybe I do. Just not sure which one of us is first I should say.
THE YANKEE
1. I live in the south and will happily bring appetizers for a carcass launching.
and...
2. My God, that pic of me looks like a cut in half mugshot of me after being arrested for attemting to rob a drive-thru beer barn in an old golf cart painted like the General Lee, wielding only a fishing lure as my weapon!!
Oh of course Lucy I am well prepared for that damn "Up Your Ass Fairy". I have my duct tape already on my butt as well as my aluminum foil panties ( these are to thwart off the advances from those freaking butt probing aliens) and I have a very intricate alarm system set up on my butt in case of illegal entries.
See Lucy I am well prepared but hey thank you for giving a damn!
Ice is fresh out of bed, looking adorably sleepy as he wanders around with his robe flopping in the breeze (hubba hubba!), getting coffee and filling my cup too.
So now I have fresh coffee and eye candy as well to start my day.
PUPPY
Dang I was counting on the cartoon cleavage to get me lots of mileage...
COLO
Yes, but we are women....we're tougher than guys
RIVER RAT
"Red" was shuffling past our house with his cane.
Kicking cans and inspecting trash in hope of a treasure, all but saying "I am so old I fart dust".
So... I guess I'm the "puppybather" now?
Could you see your girl chillin with Martha Stewart!?
Oh that would be a scream.. You might be surprised to know that I love that bitch!
And I will be forever grateful that I am not married to a guy named Brick.
My folks are nuts, but 3 out of 4 of them are still alive, and still know that I am their daughter.
I choose to be noncompliant as much as possible.
My kids would never recognize their mother if they sat and watched a movie reel of me in my 20's. And I'm not talking about the physical appearance. I was so very wild then....drunk and wild.
You know you have a problem when your beer bill during football season exceeds the family grocery bill.
So dinner goes well, the kids get tucked into bed, I drag myself out to the comfy big green chair where I can curl up into a ball and promptly fall asleep. This procrastination is really hard work !!!!
Maybe after the show, we old men can go and find us a diamond sky to dance beneath. Who knows?
Puppy, you made me cry. I got a shock.
I pulled up your blog..(my picture) scared the crap out of me.
Thank you.
I know others are hurting in all different ways..just as I hurt.
I just want to be able to make a person forget for a moment..the pain or stress they are going through.
I am hoping to bring a smile to their face.
You are the treasure of blogstream.. I miss you when you dont post.
Love you with all my heart....
YOU TOO CAN BE A SPY !
PM me anything funny you hear in the STREAM during the week.
Make sure you include your secret spy name.
Thank you....
