I have been asking myself this question for years, maybe I'll ask you and you can puzzle over it for a few years the way I have.

How come there are more horses asses in the world than there are horses?

Sherry

Dear Sherry:

I think you would have to ask a cowboy "ass" that question....

Mr. Bush would you like to chime in?

La La Lucy

Lucy:

I'm going to get up really early tomorrow and type a letter to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue asking that question. Since he knows more than God, maybe he'll know this one. See, it's not who you know it's who you ask.

Sherry

Hello, Mr. Happy!

Thank you so much for meeting with me. (I'm so excited!)

Why I was so excited, I almost popped my top this morning thinking about meeting you, Miss Kristin!

Woo Hoo!
I'm sure that everyone is curious, what is your Happy -making secret?

A cool breeze, an oily rub and my Sweet Betty Badonkadonk.

Well that seems to be working nicely for you.

That Sweet Betty makes everyday a pleasure.

Did you come from a big family? Are you married? Any little Happies ?

Why yes, many in my family are considered large, thick and predominately of the tubular persuasion, Miss Kristin.

I almost got married once but Prank talked me out of it and was I glad. I realized that a life in the suburbs was just not for me.

Maybe I just wasn't cut out for the family life, Miss Kristin, I don't know. But never no mind, I am very very Happy with how my life has turned out. I can go for walks unattended, I make new friends easily and I can spackle better than ever. And no little Happies ...yet.

How about pet peeves? What makes you feel not-so-Happy ?

Sorry, Miss Kristin, I am not sure what a peeve is, but I have a cat named Woogie living here with me and Prank.  Woogie can be mean sometimes when Prank is sleeping or off climbing rocks...he usually takes with me with him but every once in awhile he forgets....

As for things that do NOT make me very very Happy ?

Well, there's Pants Rabbits, Chuffnuts, Gleet, Morning Drop, Pleasure Garden Padlocks, Cheezer Drawers, Stone Ache, Pipe Pull-overs and Amsterdam Knuckle Dances.

You have beautiful eyebrows. Do you wax them? Does it hurt?

Why thank you, Miss Kristin.  Many people are surprised I have 2 eyes, much less eyebrows, and that my eyes are blue just like Prank's are.

And yes I sure do get waxed often and nope, it doesn't hurt at all. I really do like it.

What brought you to the Stream?

When Miss Peachy was interviewing Prank for the Blogger Enquirer a few months back she asked Prank what my name was during the interview and he told her and the Enquirer readers about me.

Soon many people were asking Prank for more details about me so he decided to let me speak for myself.  So in June I started my own blog and it has a very very Happy experience.  It makes Prank smile very very big when nice ladies talk to me. But my blog is for adults, not kids.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I am not sure I understand this question, Miss Kristin...

What are your REAL views on underground lima bean trading?

Почему те сумасшедшие торговцы боба Лимы могли начать следующую Мировую войну, мисс Крайстина. Это не делает меня очень очень Счастливым видеть Мир, где боб Лимы копят как полевой шпат ..., это нарушает мое Сердце. Я думаю, что всесторонняя Глобальная система торговли боба Лимы может принести Мир и Процветание ко всем углам
этого круглого Земного шара, который мы называем Миром. Я мечтаю о Земле, где все дети могут иметь бобы Лимы каждый день в Гармонии.

Boxers or briefs?

Boxers if we must...those tighty whities just strangle and bind me...and I am very very pleased when Prank goes commando on me.

What would be your idea of a perfect adventure?

Exploring deep dark places with an enthusiastic and kind friend who is a good kisser.

If you were a tree (ahem) and you fell in the forest and nobody was around to hear you, how many licks do you think it would take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Hmmm, this one seems a little complicated but let me think.....49.

Amazing. I was thinking the same thing.

The way you think makes me very very Happy , Miss Kristin!

What is the most unusual thing that you've ever eaten?

A taco with melted butter and warm maple syrup. Then there was this fine biscuit and fruit salad combo that was pretty good too...

(Lucy made me do this to you)

Who are the five bloggers that you would most like to meet in person and why?

Well...so many very very fun ones but here's few that really tickle my fancy in no particular order:

Well, I sure do like my buddies over at Edgewood Estates, Miss Chandabear and Mr. Buffalo Rob. They would be fun to meet I think. I would like to participate in their neighborhood Olympics!

(ummmm editor's note..the pix is NOT Rob - it's Blondage of course..)

CHANDA

And then there is Mr. Icemelts and the very nice Miss Puppy, am I cheating if they are really couples? I think Mr. Melts gets very very confused when he talks with me. I just want to answer all his questions, just like that very very nice Mr. Leo does too and Miss Puppy is such a nice lady. She writes very very well too.

It would be nice to meet my good friend Miss Jonnie and her very very nice dogs Conor and Gibson. She takes such great pictures of birds and flowers and the sea.

JONNIE

Miss Rita B has always been very very nice to me and she seems like such a sweet peach. Plus she can now use her middle finger again to help educate errant drivers throughout North Carolina.

 
 RITA

Mr. Captain Morgan would be fun too, on his train with sails and His Queen. He makes all these machines and devices. I tell you, Miss Kristin, I can not even begin to understand how they all work. And guess what? He may even like to spackle more than me!

CAPTAIN MORGAN          CHEY HIS QUEEN

What's in your CD player right now?

Well, I don't have arms as you know so I will have to ask Prank to help out.  Hey Prank, what is the CD changer right now?

You know I am not supposed to be part of this one, Happs , Lucy's rules and I agree...

Come on, Prank, just tell Miss Kristin what is in my...our CD changer will you? That would make me very very Happy ...

Fine, Happs....OK, here they are...

Thick As A Brick -- Jethro Tull
Honkin' on Bobo-- Aerosmith
Blonde On Blonde -- Bob Dylan
Strange Pleasure -- Jimmie Vaughan
Get Happy !!! -- Elvis Costello & The Attractions

Can't go wrong with Vaughan.

Thank you again for taking with me, Mr. Happy !

It's been a real pleasure.

And thanks for making me very very Happy to be interviewed, Miss Kristin. I feel so Happy I could just bust!